so much in so little

The Box Man knows that loneliness chosen loses its sting and claims no victims. He declares what we all know in the secret passages of our own nights, that although we long for perfect harmony, communion, and blending with another soul, this is a solo voyage.

The first half of our lives is spent stubbornly denying it. As children we acquire language to make our selves understood and soon learn from the blank stares in response to our babblings that even these, our saviors, our parents, are strangers. In adolescence when we replay earlier dramas with peers in the place of parents, we begin the quest for the best friend, that person who will receive all thoughts as if they were her own. Later we assert that true love will find the way. True love finds many ways, but no escape from exile. The shores are littered with us, Annas and Ophelias, Emmas, and Juliets, all outcasts from the dream of perfect understanding. We might as well draw the night around us and find solace there and a friend in our own voice.

One could do worse than be a collector of boxes.

- "The Box Man", Barbara Lazear Ascher

wear me out

'ts been four months with a couple of previous lack luster posts. i still have no idea what i'm doing but woe and behold i got a 4.0 and my concentration is still fleeting. so i'm into my fourth term where this routine is key: college, lectures, assignments, due dates. everything else is just so obscure. i can barely tell the days of the week anymore.

sometimes i feel like i take so much for granted. and then i don't.